Humor

[Anoniem2]

[QUOTE=dutch-online;567369]Erg Handig \n\n [URL]http://www.bierpad.nl/[/URL][/QUOTE]\n\nIk trap nog liever in de hondepoep

[Anoniem2]

[QUOTE=dutch-online;567369]Erg Handig \n\n [URL]http://www.bierpad.nl/[/URL][/QUOTE] Ik trap nog liever in de hondepoep.

[Anoniem2]

[QUOTE=Anacho;567377]Ik trap nog liever in de hondepoep[/QUOTE]\nNou, met mijn schoenprofiel is dat nooit een pretje, maar ook ik verdom het op die bestelknop te klikken...\n\nGewoon wachten tot iemand kan vertellen wat er achter zit :)\n\n\"[I]....een heerlijke schuimkop op een moment dat jou uitkomt. Al het genot in één handzaam apparaat...[/I]\" :p

[Anoniem2]

[QUOTE]Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door [B]Anacho[/B] [URL=\"http://forum.computeridee.nl/showthread.php?p=567377#post567377\"][IMG]http://forum.computeridee.nl/images/buttons/viewpost.gif[/IMG][/URL] \n [I]Ik trap nog liever in de hondepoep[/I]\n[/QUOTE]\n\n\n[QUOTE=dutch-online;567380]1 April.:D;):rolleyes:[/QUOTE]\nDat het een 1 April grap was snapte ik ook wel, vandaar dat ik er niet intrapte.

[Anoniem2]

Kwam deze nog tegen uit de oude doos.\r\nMaar hij blijft erg leuk en knap gedaan\r\n\r\n[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqQk4pCzBtY[/url]

[Anoniem2]

Als jullie op een regenachtige dag wat afleidend te lezen willen:\n[url]http://www.humortje.nl/index.php?pagenum=1[/url]\n\nZoals... Een stukje dag uit het leven van een baby\n\n05:30\nWakker geworden, gehuild.\nWilde bij papa en mama in het grote bed.\nMocht niet.\nNog harder gehuild.\nMocht wel. \n\n09:15\nZeep gleed uit in bad. Mama nat.\nMag niet met zeep spelen.\nZeep in mond gestoken.\nNooit meer doen, smaakt vies.\n\n11:00\nWorm gevonden.\nWilde weten of hij kon zwemmen.\nZonk. \n\n18:15\nKat bij staart gepakt.\nKrabte.\nKlets gegeven.\nKrabte nog.\nMeer kletsen.\nWerd kwaad.\nBest afblijven, poes gevaarlijk. \n\n11:30\nKalender afgescheurd tot 6 december.\nGewacht op Sinterklaas en Zwarte Piet.\nKwamen niet....

[Anoniem2]

[QUOTE]Zoals... Een stukje dag uit het leven van een baby[/QUOTE]Doet me terugdenken aan \"The Diary of Adrian Mole\":p\nIk ga de site zeker verder verkennen, dank.

[Anoniem2]

[QUOTE=Anacho;567635]Doet me terugdenken aan \"The Diary of Adrian Mole\":p\r\nIk ga de site zeker verder verkennen, dank.[/QUOTE]\r\nDie ken ik niet, maar ik ben heel slecht \'belezen\'. Wat ik even zo snel kan vinden snap ik je vergelijking wel.\r\n\r\nDie humortje ken ik eigenlijk ook nog niet, maar na twee pagina\'s had ik al meer smileys in mijn ogen dan van een hele maand daarvoor, dus het is het verkennen wel waard.

[Anoniem2]

[QUOTE=dutch-online;569769][url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kav0FEhtLug&feature=youtu.be[/url]\r\n\r\nvoor de soap liefhebbers.[/QUOTE]\r\n\r\nHaha, hij is goed;)

[Anoniem2]

Plane pooling?\n\n[url]http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/1479151/d078b3be/fietsend_door_de_luchthaven.html[/url]\n\nNiek

[Anoniem2]

[INDENT] [INDENT] [B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial][B]PARAPROSDOKIANS[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n \n \n \n \n [/INDENT] \n \n [/INDENT] [INDENT] [INDENT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial] Here is the definition: \"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.\"[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]\"Where there\'s a will, I want to be in it,\" is a type of paraprosdokian.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it\'s still on my list. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]4. If I agreed with you, we\'d both be wrong. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]8. Evening news is where they begin with \'Good Evening,\' and then proceed to tell you why it isn\'t. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]10. A[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial] bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, \'In case of emergency, notify:\' I put \'DOCTOR.\' [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]13. I didn\'t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]16. A[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial] clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn\'t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]19. Money can\'t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]20. There\'s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can\'t get away. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]21. I used to be indecisive. Now I\'m not so sure.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]22. You\'re never too old to learn something stupid.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]24. Nostalgia isn\'t what it used to be.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]26. Going to church doesn\'t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]27. A[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial] diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]\n \n \n [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=mediumblue][COLOR=mediumblue][FONT=Arial]30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]\n\n \n \n \n \n \n [/INDENT]\n \n[/INDENT]

[Anoniem2]

Haha, daar zitten echt een paar juweeltjes tussen! :mrgreen:

[Anoniem2]

ROFL... schitterend!

[Anoniem2]

Zitten leuke one-liners bij :smile: (nou ja, nee, one-liners zijn eigenlijk iets anders...)\r\n\r\nVan die definitie: \r\n\"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation\".\r\nken er nog eentje van mijn kindertijd die ik misschien zelf verzon:, maar is algemeen:\r\n\r\nin welke sprakeloze situatie dan ook, als antwoord geven:\r\n\"[I]Dat zei mijn vrouw vannacht ook, maar toen zat het laken er tussen[/I]...\".\r\n\r\nZal wel kinderhumor geweest zijn :p\r\n\r\n([I]Humor[/I] moet op dat moment natuurlijk wel gepast zijn, dat begrijp je :-$ )

[Anoniem2]

Rauwe humor:\r\n[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw[/url]

[Anoniem2]

Ze deed zo lekker heet. Ze zei: Kom je vanavond? er is niemand thuis.\nik zei: wauw!! te gek!\nIk ging, belde aan, en inderdaad, er was niemand thuis :(

[Anoniem2]

Hehe, wat een droge humor hiero :D.

[Anoniem2]

Deze dan: \n\n[url]http://www.imagehousing.com/image/362249[/url]

[Anoniem2]

inderdaad grappig, op de wc zitten zal nooit meer hetzelfde zijn, hehe.

[Anoniem2]

Inderdaad grappig, op de wc zitten zal nooit meer hetzelfde zijn, hehe.